Ryu's Text Adventure Game

This'll be fun! What it is is a game that any user can play and every user should play. I shall take the role of Dungeon Master Ryu. I will tell a story with which the players will interact. The story is based entirely on whatever I want to happen and the decisions of the players. Any user can jump into the story at any time. Because this won't be fun unless users actually play.

How to Play

 * Dungeon Master Ryu will describe the settings in bold.
 * The players edit their section and write what their characters do.
 * After an allotted time, Dungeon Master Ryu will continue the story.
 * Any character still alive by the end of the game is a winner. Maybe I'll make a prize of some kind, depending on whether people play or not.

Rules

 * You only control your own one character. Don't edit other posts.
 * Your character is you. Your character is not a magical unicorn mermaid armpit monster. Unless he/she drinks the magical unicorn mermaid armpit monster potion. (Except JOP, who is a fishhead)
 * Your character does not have the magical unicorn mermaid armpit monster potion, or any item for that matter, unless Dungeon Master Ryu says so.
 * Do not alter the text of Dungeon Master Ryu.
 * Dungeon Master Ryu can alter your text if you do something that wasn't suppose to happen. Dungeon Master Ryu's word is the law.

Current Players
Shay (Shayshayrip)

Equipped Items: Burlap Sack, Bucket

Status: Limbless

Calu (Calua)

Equipped Items: Burlap Sack

Unequipped Items: Tiny Cursed Backpack, Tiny Cursed Sword, Tiny Rocks, Tiny Tracking Device, Tiny Umbrella, Tiny Burlap, Tiny Rose

Status: Former Assistant Assistant Unenchanted Blacksmith

THT (The Humaniod Typhoon)

Equipped Items: Old Shirt, Old Pants, Old Shoes, Old Socks, Old Glove, Old Jacket

Jopie (JapaneseOPfan)

Equipped Items: Burlap Sack, Pineapple of Youth (x6), Dead Cow, 10 Gold

Unequipped Items: Leprechaun Air, Key on a String, Manager's Card (6997 gold)

Status: Flightless Fishhead, Geishageisha Bathhouse Assistant

Skills: Coffee-Fetching

Nada (Unknownada)

Equipped Items : Burlap Sack

Fin (Fintin)

Equipped Items : Burlap Sack, Homemade Sweater

Status: bit in the neck by a Little Old Lady Turtle

Raven (Red Eyed Raven)

Equipped Items : Burlap Sack

Marcus (Marcus Junior)

Equipped Items : Burlap Sack

Jade (Jademing) Equipped Items : Burlap Sack, love

Non-Playable Party Members
None

Recap
'''Shay, Calu, Jopie, and THT all awoke in a stanky dungeon. Accidentally starting a fire and killing a cow, Shay lost a finger and a hand. Jopie discovered her mom, the a magical pineapple tree, in a secret room and solved the puzzle to the exit of the dungeon. Shay "befriended" a 10 ft. tall penguin named Kingsley Jones, The four left the dungeon.'''

'''Outside the stanky dungeon, Calu stabbed her guardian angel, Peabody Pockets. THT stole his old man clothes. Nobody could cross the wintery path to Crumblebutt City without a jacket. Jopie beat up a gang of thug Mormons on the way to Crumblebutt City, but she ended up helping one of them named Elder Jedidiah. Until she abandoned him when we wasn't allowed inside.'''

'''Crossing the Jones Forest, Calu, Shay, THT, and Kingsley Jones discovered magical roses that cause people to shrink when they're picked, clothing and all. Shay suicidally lept into a river of crocodiles twice, costing her both arms and legs. Then she offended Kingsley, causing him to go on without them. Calu left for Crumblebutt City to try to find a healing potion for Shay, but when she left, Human fell asleep and Shay was kidnapped by Gnomes.'''

'''Peabody Pockets returned to help Calu get to Crumblebutt City. Jopie was hired at a bathhouse and has been earning money. Calu briefly worked at an unenchanted armoury until she spent all the company saving on enchanted armour and was appropriately fired.'''

Fin, Marcus, Nada, and Raven have all been idling outside the stanky dungeon, and Jademing is still asleep on the floor.

The Game
'''The players all awake to discover they are chained to the wall in a totes stanky dungeon. Each wears nothing but a burlap sack, cut as fashion dictates, and is quite hungry and exhausted. The stanky dungeon is lit by a single lantern in the middle of the ground. Near the lantern is a brown cow, plump with juicy fat, and an unopened box. Obvious exists are north, south, east, and southeast. At the feet of each player is a key, presumably to the chains binding them to the wall. The keys could easily be picked up with toes and used to open the chains. What do you do?'''

Shay kicks the key towards her so it would be easier to reach. She sits and waits for a good time to try and unlock the shackles, if the key goes to them.

'''The key would successfully work in the shackles, however there never came a more appropriate time to use them. I mean, Shay's down there with a bunch of unconscious people shackled to the wall. What's she waiting for? Nonetheless, Shay waited and nothing changed in the meantime.'''

Knowing that the key would work, Shay unlocks her shackles and makes her way to the cow, befriending it. Waiting for people to wake up.

'''The cow was not interested in befriending Shay. It bit her middle finger off and spat it on the ground. '''

Shay says ouch. A single tear falls down her face. Shay then looks into the box, opening it...

'''Inside the box was a pizza. It was a pizza box. Luigi's Deep Dish Pizza. And it has pineapples on it.'''

Shay wakes up others and feeds them.

Calu wakes up, and she sees that Shay is shoving food into face. She screams in horror.

Tries to calm down Calu by slapping her with a slice of Pizza.

'''A knight in shining armor runs in from the east, armed with a sword and a shield. "I've come to rescue you!" he proclaims. He lifts his mask and discovered a girl in a burlap sack, hand soaked in blood from the missing finger, shoving food down the throat of several scared people chained to the wall. They stare at each other in silence. "I'll... I'll come back later", he lied, backing away slowly. He vanished again into the darkness of the east.'''

Calu manages to free herself, and a few other people. They try to run away from Shay, but she explains that she was trying to help everyone from starvation since they been unconscious for several days now. So they try to plot a way to escape from the dungeon.

'Obvious exits are north, south, east, and southeast''. In the stanky dungeon you see a lantern, a middle finger, a pile of used keys and shackles, a beefy cow, and an empty cardboard box. What do you do?'''

Shay uses the lantern and burns he middle finger back onto her hand.

'''The lantern did not, in fact, work like welding gear. It burnt and boiled Shay's hand into a deformed red nub. And the middle finger still wouldn't stay on. It also started a wildfire that is rapidly growing.'''

THT is awoken by the heat and smoke, wondering how the hell a dungeon can catch fire, but then he understood the Luigi pizza was actually the one burning. Special:UserLogOut

Shay freaks out and tries to put out the fire. After some time later, she runs to the cow trying to make it feel safe.

'''The cow, formally calm, now panics and bites off Shay's other middle finger. The fire burns out, completely destroying the pizza, however, leaving the cardboard box completely unharmed. They discover that the fumes of the fire have knocked Calu unconscious. Obvious exits are north, south, east, and southeast. Visible from the dungeon is a cardboard pizza box, a cow, two middle fingers, a pile of shackles and keys, and a burnt-up lantern. What do you do?'''

Shay names the cow Florene Pebbles. And feeds her the cardboard.

'''Florene Pebbles chokes on the cardboard being forcefully shoved down his throat. Cows don't eat cardboard boxes. The cow dies.'''

"NOOOO! FLORENE PEBBLES! WAKE UP!" Shay exclaims. Shay runs to the East Exit screaming.

'''Human and unconscious Calu remain in the main dungeon. Shay finds herself in the eastern dungeon, where she finds a giant lake of sparkling water. A scrawny old man with an incredible beard, grey as it in long, is drinking from the lake. He is wearing the brownest overalls that anyone has ever laid eyes on. He notices Shay and thinks nothing of it. He returns to drinking. On the ground, Shay finds a large wooden tub and a sponge inside. The only obvious exit is west, from where she came.'''

Shay still screaming, runs for the bucket. She fills it up with nice sparkling water and runs back to the west. She then dumps the water on people.

'''When Shay dumped the water on Human and Calu, they both instantly became wrinkly and weak. Human had grown a full beard and Calu became two feet shorter, still unconscious.'''

Suddenly, a flustered and forgotten Jopie wakes up due to the sudden existence of a person in the world actually shorter than her. "BUT WHERE ARE MY PINEAPPLE SLICES" she exclaims.

Seeing another person woke up. Shay runs to greet her. JOPIE~! Shay then hugs Jopie. She explains what is in the East exit. Shay runs to the Southeast exit.

"hmm... I feel like I've seen that person before." Jopie then sprouts her invisible fishhead wings, for all fishheads can fly, and heads UP.

'''Jopie crashes directly into the ceiling and lands on Calu, waking her up. In the southeastern dungeon, Shay discovers a 10 ft tall penguin, plumb and fat, with a mighty fine 'stache and a filthy trenchcoat. "You there", he calls out with a deep and muffled voice. "Help me!" On the wall there is a torch and on the ground there is a rope. The only obvious exit is northwest from whence ye came.'''

"OWWWWWWW" wailed Calu as she wakes up. She tries to walk around and notices that she is shorter than she used to be, and also is wet...

THT laughs at the shrinked Calu and then notices his beard and chokes of suprises. "Hmmm, this is how MJ feels" THT thought while stroking his beard. But what can possibly be the solution to this awful state? Special:UserLogOut

Jopie finally notices THT's beard, matching with his coral reef hair. She pats THT's hair and strokes his beard curiously. I wish I could swim. she thinks to herself. Then, she rubs the dent in her head from crashing into the ceiling and smells something strange from the West. PINEAPPLES she exclaims, as she runs towards the smell.

'Of course, the only obvious exits were north, south, east, and southeast''. By instinctively going west, Jopie crashed through the wall and discovered a secret room. The room was small and wooded, and growing from the floor was a pineapple tree. The pineapples were sparkling, just like the water, and the scent was irresistible. The only exit was a the hole in the wall going east back to main dungeon.'''

Jopie kneels down in front of the pineapple tree and sobs. Looking up, she asks: "Are you... my mother?!"

"If you say I am your mother" spoke the pineapple tree in a motherly tone, "then it is so. I birth the Pineapples of Youth. Every bite taken from my delicious fruit reverses the aging process. They are also my genitals. The pineapples are my gift to you, child. Use then as your heart desires."

"That's hot, mom." says Jopie. "Thanks." She tucks as many pineapples as she can into her burlap sack. Jopie now looks like an insanely busty fishlady. She starts to leave the room, but then remembers something. She turns around. "Mom, is there anything you can tell me about how to get out of this dungeon before I leave?"

'"Oh, yeah, sweetie. There's a key to the south and a door to the north ''of the main dungeon. Take care. Wear a jacket, it's cold out there." Reminded the pineapple tree. Unfortunately, none of the players have jackets. The burlap sacks will have to do.'''

"Okay, thanks mom!" says Jopie. She walks out of the West room looking unnaturally busty. She takes a pineapple out of her shirt and stares at it, then at Calu and THT. Calu is shorter than her and THT has a nice flowing beard. She places the pineapple back into her burlap sack. She then grabs the dead cow by it's tail and drags it with her as she enters the South exit.

'In the south'', Jopie discovers a key lying suspiciously in the middle of the room. It is connected to a string. This is the only thing in the room. The only exist is to the north where she came.'''

Jopie stares at the key. She then stares at the string. ''Where does this string connect to? ''she wonders. Still dragging the cow carcass, she sprouts her fishhead wings and follows the string.

Hearing the faint noise of her friend, Florene Pebbles, being dragged on the floor, Shay sheds a single tear. Though when her eyes laid eyes upon the 10 foot penguin, her tear dried up. Shay ran to the rope and darted up the side of the penguin. She lassoed it and sat on it's head. Thus Shay had found another way to transportation. OH And she also named the penguin, Sir Reginald Clifford Boxworth I.

Calu finally gets off her lazy ass and steals THT's burlap sack. She heads North while dragging the burlap sack like Linus van Pelt drags his blanket.

'''"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Said the penguin. "Get off of me." Shay attempted to make it go, but she had no control over the penguin. "I have an IQ of 127." He shook his head and knocked Shay to the ground. "Frankly, you've been very rude to me. My name is Kin- err... My name is Kingsley Jones. The peasant." Meanwhile, in the main dungeon, Human was stripped bare and alone. In the southern dungeon, Jopie followed the rope until the very end, wear it was tied to the corpse of a leprechaun. In the northern dungeon, Calu came across a wooden door. Scratched on the door was a message saying 'better find a jacket'. What do you do?'''

Calu notices the sign, so she wraps THT's burlap sack around her. As soon as she is finished wrapping herself, she opens the door.

The door was locked.

'''But it was so old that the doorknob broke off in her hand and the door flung wide open. Stepping outside, Calu discovered a four-way street. To the south is the dungeon she had just come from. To the north was a forest. The east was a large lake of water. To the west was a sign reading "Crumblebutts City, 1 mile this way" and a long dirt road. To the two feet in front of her was a creepy old guy. "Howdy do!" he said proudly.'''

"Ehhh, it's time for me to get going as well" THT thought as he stood up and started heading South. When suddenly he notices his burlap sack has gone missing! "How could it have gone missing? This must be witc-Oh! It must be that thief Calu!" He then returns and runs toward the North exit. The most awesome awesomeness in awesomity

'Calu and naked Human are both outside the dungeon'' at the same four-way street. Jopie was in the southern dungeon. Shay was with Kingsley Jones in the southeastern dungeon. What do you do?'''

After falling from a 10 ft drop, Shay was in agonizing pain. She asked the penguin to finish her off, "Please kill me now Kingsley Jones, I beg of you."

'''"Hell nah." He said, walking away. Shay realized that her injuries weren't that bad. She hadn't even broken a bone. But she was alone now in the southeastern dungeon.'''

Calu is creeped out by the creepy old guy, she screams "PEDO" and runs East. Without really realizing where she was going, she arrived at a large lake of water. She is astonished by how clean and pure the water was. So she took a drink. She then had to plan out where she was going next and how to avoid the creepy old guy.

As THT arrives outside he sees the old creepy guy and steals his clothes promptly. Fueled by the desire for revenge, THT proceeds to ask  where he can find the girl that ran past here earlier. 

'Calu, at the Lake to the East'', had just taken a refreshing drink. But in her mouth, she felt the wiggling of a tadpole. Meanwhile, Human wore the old man's clothes. He had a shirt, pants, shoes, socks, one glove, and even a jacket. "Ooh, thanks. This is much better." said the old dude, enjoying the breeze. "That girl... I believe she went north."'''

Meanwhile, Jopie sees the dead leprechaun and thinks. She first pulls the key up and easily rips it off the old rope (for age was starting to wear it away) and then stuffs they key up the cow's bottom for she had no pockets to carry the key in. Then, she feels around the leprechaun's clothing and finds an old piece of paper. She opens it up to find some writing in the old piece of paper.

And on that piece of paper was the phrase was the word 'JACKET'.

"was the word 'JACKET'". I wonder what that means. thinks Jopie to herself. Huh. Then she looks up to see the leprechaun. Its green jacket had the logo WAS THE WORD on it. Jopie silently stares, then strips the leprechaun violently and wears the jacket herself. It fits perfectly, for Jopie is naturally small. Jopie then ties the leprechaun to her cow and heads back out to the main dungeon. She then heads straight towards the NORTHERN dungeon, for there was light seeping out of that direction. She then sees Human and a old naked men and cannot help but smirk at the thought of them being together. She then spreads out her fishhead wings and heads straight to the WEST exit, for she wanted to know what Crumblebutts City was all about. She now drags a dead cow and leprechaun while flying with the wings on the sides of her head, wears a green jacket that says WAS THE WORD on it, and has several PINEAPPLES OF YOUTH stuffed into her shirt to look like a short busty fishlady.

'Jopie discovered that in the west'' there was nothing but snow and ice for a mile. If not for her jacket, she would have frozen to death. One the way to Crumblebutt City, she runs into a gang of thug Mormons. "Yo! Good morning! Give me your jacket, if that's alright with you." One of them threateningly waves around a lead pipe, saying "sorry" at each swing. There are seven total Mormons. Each one of them wears a nice tucked button-up t-shirt with a leather jacket on top, and a plain black tie.'''

Meanwhile, Calu spits out the tadpole. She later strips as she wants to bathe in lake since she was squalid. She also swims in it and sings. She later spots some objects on the other side of the lake. How unusual. In that pile of objects, there were clothes her size, some survival stuff, and more useful things. She takes them.

Jopie stares at the seven Mormons. "No, I'm sorry. This jacket is a precious memento from my long gone grandmother. However, I was wondering if I could have everything you own in exchange of this leprechaun?" (She shows the leprechaun corpse, upright so it does not look so dead.) "I'm sure you all know what a leprechaun means."

'''"Uhhhhhh. We don't, actually." Answered the thug Mormons. "Care to explain? I mean, if it's not too much trouble." Meanwhile, Calu emerged from the water to find the naked old man licking his lips.'''

Calu says "that's hot" in a sarcastic voice to the naked old man. The naked old man approaches her, which results in her calling for help and calling him a "pedo" once again. She notices THT heading towards the forest, but that is no help since he still heads towards it. No one has come to her rescue so far. But she then remembers the random equipment. So she reacts fast and stabs him in the chest with a sword. She didn't notice where she stab him, but she manages to pierce through his heart.

"What?! Geez, well, a leprechaun is a good luck charm for anyone who carries one!" says Jopie. "Most people press its corpse like a pressed flower, but that's rather gruesome so I wouldn't do that.. just carry it with this rope. It can bring forth mostly riches, but any kind of luck in general... pretty cool for a corpse." ''Well I guess I can't pretend this guy is alive anymore.. at least it's all true.'' she thinks. "Whadya say?"

'''Calu stabbed the old man. "Why, Calu? Why would you do this? It's clear... you aren't ready for your training yet..." He poofs away, leaving nothing behind. Meanwhile, Jopie offers a leprechaun to the Mormon gang. "We'll take it!" one says, snatching it from Jopie's hand, "if that's alright with you, of course." he says. They then jumped on to their thug bicycles and peddled away and full speed.'''

Shay continues to lay on the ground, staring at the penguin. So Mr. Penguin, how is you today?

"Are*"

Jopie becomes pissed off. "NO YOU MOTHERFUCKERS" she hollers. She spreads her fishhead wings and follows the Mormons at full speed. Too bad for them, fishheads are the fastest creatures of all time!! She swings her cow carcass as she catches up and bashes all 7 of the Mormons at once. They go flying, and so does the leprechaun. She lunges, but can only catch a few locks of leprechaun hair. She shrugs. This will do. she thinks. She stuffs the red hair up the cow's ass, and flips off the Mormons flying off into the horizon. She then hits the ceiling (painted to look like a sky) and falls. Where does she land??

She lands back at the four-way street.

Calu weeps and keeps calling for THT.

BUT HOW-- WHY?! Jopie thinks. ''Imposshiburu. But so is this entire story. So fuck.'' She sits and thinks. Then, she decides that she still wants to see what she would find in the WEST, so she flaps her fishhead wings and heads out west. This time, she flies high so that she does not run into anyone on the icy land. She flies ahead for four hours straight, and starts getting rather tired, when suddenly, she spots--

'''Lightning. And it burns her hack wings off. Now she's just like every other player.'''

Jezus. Now Jopie falls to the ground. Her fishhead flops around and she bleeds uncontrollably. She will die in a few minutes.

'''She is struck by lightning again. The burns weld up her open wound and the snow cools it. Although she is in incredible pain, she is miraculously saved from death. '''

"Darn." Jopie thinks to herself. "Wings are a symbol of fishhead pride.. I was willing to die." "Well fuck." she says. She gets up and starts dragging herself farther west.

'''She stumbles upon one of the Mormons that had been separated from the pack when Jopie attacked. He was curled up in a ball and crying. Meanwhile, Kingsley Jones the penguin grows bored of Shay and waddles out of the dungeon. He meets Calu at the fourway street. "Which way are you heading?" he ponders.'''

Calu screams in excitement "HOLY FUCK, A FUCKING TALKING PENGUIN! AWESOME!". Well she gets up and picks up some equipment and tells the penguin that she is heading North, towards the forest. So they head there.

'''"North, eh? Better bring an umbrella." Kingsley said, taking two umbrellas out from his trench coat. "Hey, do you know that girl in the dungeon with bloody nub hands? She's weirding me out."'''

Meanwhile, in the West- Jopie: uh.. you.. you ok there?

'''"*sniff sniff* I'm lost... Can you take me to Crumblebutt?" requested the Mormon miserably.'''

"Well I'm not sure how to get there myself, but since that's where I'm heading, you could follow me I guess.." says Jopie.

Well Mr. Penguin, how did you get into this dungeon? Shay asks curiously to the wall, because she forgot that Kingsley had left.

Meanwhile THT was looking for Calu in the forest, but after thorougly searching the whole forest he curses the old man, realizing he got framed. In order to make the old man pay for the time THT lost, he returns on his path, but after a few minutes of walking he noticed he passed there earlier. He got lost in the forest. Shhh, you didn't notice I still don't have a signature

'''Jopie and the Mormon head for Crumblebutt through the snowy west, while Calu and Kingsley stand to the east. Shay remains in the dungeon to the south and Human became lost to the northern forest. At last, Jopie reached her destination! But before she could enter, she had to make it across the giant brick wall of Crumblebutt City. There was a door made of steel and Jopie couldn't open it. The Mormon began to cry again. Meanwhile, Human in the forest found a tiny little spider napping on web. He could hear it's little snores. What do you do?'''

Mormon! How do you not know how to get into your own city!!! exclaimed Jopie. How do you usually get in anyway???

"I don't live here! I come from Pen Island! I was only sent here as a mission to recruit for the Mormon race!"

"The Mormon race? Never heard of it. Sounds... interesting." Jopie mutters as she blindly feels about the doorway. "Tell me more..." she says.

Meanwhile, Calu and Kingsley interact by talking and learning more about each other. He tells her about Shay and that his name is Kingsley. When they reach the forest, they notice that everything is bigger with roses sprouting everywhere. She grabs one and sniffs it. But a bee comes out nowhere and stings her.

'''The Morman began spouting elaborate nonsense at Jopie that she really didn't understand. But he was excited to be telling her. Interrupting, an elderly caterpillar man looked down at the two from the top of the wall. "State your name and business," his voice called out with boredom. Meanwhile, Calu and Kingsley trench through the forest. The trees become fewer and fewer as they walk. Eventually, there were no trees. Only a single rose in the middle of an open field. Kingsley clenched his umbrella tightly.'''

I am Jopie! Jopie half-hollers. I am here... to explore!!! And stuff!!! She nudges the Mormon on.

hi

'''"I'm Elder Jedidiah, but my friends call me The Mormon. I've come here on a recruitment mission." The Mormon said enthusiastically. The caterpillar man processed what he had heard and decided "The girl may enter. The Mormon must stay out." He opens the gate. The Mormon gives Jopie the puppy-dog eyes.'''

Jopie looks at the Mormon and shrugs. Sorry dude! At least I got you here! She says, and walks inside without him.

THT takes the spider and eats it, hoping it'll give him the sense of direction that a spider has. Unfortunately it doesn't, but since he's hungry he also eats the web and continues to travel aimlessy through the forest.

While Kingsley clenches his umbrella tightly, Calu bends over and plucks the rose out of the ground. They spot THT wondering around the now no forest.

'''THT looks over to see Calu pluck the rose and instantly shrink to the size of a fly. Kingsley shouted "Woah! She disappeared!". Calu was shrunken in the grass. Her rose, umbrella, and everything else she had shrunk with her. ''' After finally realizing that she should try more to get out of the dungeon, Shay runs back to the Northeast exit. She then decides to head North.

'''Shay too runs into the forest and meets up with Kingsley and THT. "Oh, hi..." says Kingsley. Calu is still shrunken on the ground. She finds a sealed peapod on next to her. Meanwhile, Jopie enters Crumblebutt and is overwhelmed by the giant city. There are rows of shops, taverns, and houses. The specific buildings she saw were the following; Elmrik's Spellbooks, Brew-a-Brew Witches' Workshop, The Enchanted Armory, The Unenchanted Armory, Dragon Design Fashion Parlor, Walmart, Ace Weapon Cranny, The Drunken Duchess Pub, Duke Silver Incorporated, Berry Inn, The First Church of Grape, Geishageisha Bathhouse, Rent-a-Mule, A Gentleman's Fisticuffs Corner, Kim Chi Dojo, and Launchpad McQuack Science Facility. What do you do?'''

Shay being excited on finding Kingsley, she jumps for joy, yelling, "MY FRIEND!"

'''"Peasant!" He quacks as he kicks Shay onto the ground. Her head lands right next to Calu and they make eye contact with eachother.'''

Calu shrieks in horror because she was almost killed by Shay. She runs to Shay's right ear so Shay could her better since she is so tiny. Calu says "Thanks Shay, you almost killed me! I know that you saw me, I'm Calu! Help me!" She then jumps up and down waving her arms so Shay could spot her once again. 02:53, June 30, 2013 (UTC)

After seeing Calu in her current state, Shay laughs. "Gosh Calu, be more careful next time. You almost killed yourself." Shay still laughing picks up Calu and sets her on her shoulder.

"What?! You're the one who fell right next to me, and nearly killing me!" She sits on Shay's shoulder, still holding onto the rose. She wonders how she shrunk, then she thinks about the rose. She releases it and it lands on Shay's shoulder, but nothing happens. She picks up the rose again. Calu asks Shay "Why am I still tiny? Please help me figure it out". She sheds a tear the size of a sand grain.

'''"Who are you talking to, Shay?" Asked Kingsley.'''

"Oh, Ho, Oh. Calu, buddy, I think you must be mistaken. I did nothing of the sort. But I will help you anyway." Now, where to? Shay looks up to Kingsley and asks, "Mr. Kingsley sir, Do you by anychance have a Taffy Puller?"

'''"Actually, I'm legally a Taffy Puller myself." He answered, stretching a piece of gum to the size of a person.'''

PERFECT! Can you stretch my friend? Shay shows Kingsley Calu and hands her over. Please don't kill her. But do what you have to do.

'''"Is... Is she alright with this?" The 10-foot-tall penguin pinched Calu at each end with his flippers. He yanked and Calu was painlessly stretched back to human size. He fixed all of her proportions. Calu was back to normal. Unfortunately, only she was stretched. Her umbrella, survival gear, rose, and burlap sack remained shrunken and in the palm of her hand. "I can't stretch those." explained Kingsley Jones. "Only fleshy, organic life."'''

"Whoa, how come that didn't hurt? But thanks!" She shakes herself. Eventually, this turns into a dance. After Calu was done dancing, she thanks Shay and Kingsley again. Also, she greets THT with a smirk since she remembers that she stole his burlap sack which was now shrunken.

'''"It didn't hurt because I'm an experienced Taffy Puller. What do you take me for, a beginner? Now come along, you three. I'll take you to the end of this forest." Kingsley continued to waddle north.'''

As we headed north, Shay bombards Kingsley with questions. Questions like, "Where are we going?" "Are we almost there?" "What was your life like, Can you tell us about it?" "Can you fly?" "Do you own a top hat?" "If you could dye your feathers any color, what would it be?" "Are we there YET?!"

Calu thinks to herself "Aww poor Kingsley, he is probably getting annoyed by these questions. Wait a minute... Was Shay that annoying girl that he mentioned earlier? Most likely." Meanwhile, she talks to THT while Shay continues asking Kingsley questions.

'''"We're going to the city at the end of the forest; Beilgum. It's just a little farther, there's a river coming up. I can't tell you about my life, actually... I can't fly. I do own a top hat. I would dye it blue. No. Yes. No. No. Fish. Salmon. Yes. No. Three. Eight. No. No! I'm done talking to you." They keep walking until they reach a river. There was a bridge to the other side, and crocodiles in the water.'''

At the site of the crocodiles, Shay yells "KITTY!" And Ask Kingsley if they are nice. "Are they nice Mr. Kingsley?!"

WALMART!!! Jopie exclaims, and rushes into the store with joy. Just what I needed!

'''Inside the Walmart, they're were isles and isles of food. Every food in existence could be found; fruit, vegetable, meats, bread, human, everything. There was also a lot of raw material like metal and wood. "If you need anything, just asked" said the employee. Meanwhile, Kingsley chose to ignore Shay.'''

Calu sudden spots Beilgum from afar. They approach the city and notice the welcome sign.

"Well, let's cross the bridge. Who goes first?"

Jopie walks out the store, and sleeps on the sidewalk.

At the sight of the sign, Shay runs ahead. "Bridge!"

'''The bridge snaps under Shay's feet. She falls into the water. A crocodile manages to bite off her foot before Kingsley reaches in and pulls her to safety.'''

Shay wanting her foot back, sights the crocodile that took her foot. Shay dives into the water, tackling the crocodile.

'''The crocodiles all gang up on her. Shay is severely overpowered. By the time Shay is pulled to safety by Kingsley, she lost all her arms and legs, and was now just a torso. But at least she managed to get the foot back, which she had in her mouth. "You turkeys are weirdin' me out." said Kingsley.'''

"I hate you" Shay states to Kingsley.

A mysterious man appears and kills Shay with throwing knife. 03:38, July 2, 2013 (UTC)

'''"What? You hate ME? I just saved your ass TWICE when you to decided to jump in a river of crocodiles! If it weren't for me, you'd be dead now! And you're the one who keeps asking all those goddamn questions and climbin' on MY back! Ya know what? You can just cross this river without me then. Bye, Calu. Bye, other dude. And goodbye Shay!" Kingsley muttered off and easily stepped over the river (he's 10-feet-tall, after all), leaving the three behind.'''

Jopie wakes up. "Klawedis." she mutters sleepily. She roams around the town, and asks some passerby dude what the town is all about.

Shay just being a torso just sits there and waits for Calu or Human to figure out what to do next. Since she can't do anything.

'''"Oh, we're a major city." answered a civilian. "We have more shops and buildings than any city on the map. And almost every shop is hiring. It's a great way to earn some quick gold. Crumblebutt was founded just 600 years ago by Alfred Crumblebutt, a pirate from Beilgum. You see, he had a knack for exploration and settlement, and..." the civilian continued to ramble on until it was impossible to pay attention to.'''

Shay still sits and waits. When suddenly a thought bursted into her head. "I just got all my limbs eaten off... Wouldn't I be bleeding to death right now?" Being bored on the subject of bleeding to death, Shay then thinks about a baby bunny munching on a carrot. "Hehe, silly Bunny."

Calu tries to think of a solution to save Shay. So she thinks about the places that she had an opportunity to go to but didn't. One of the places was Crumblebutt City. She goes on an adventure alone to Crumblebutt City, and hopes to find a potion shop there. But in order to go there, she leaves Shay and THT alone.

'''The night falls. The full moon rises over the land. Shay grows cold by the river in the dark. Suddenly, a pack of wild gnomes emerge from the forest and abduct her while Human sleeps. She is taken to their hidden town in the forest. Only those who have obtained the Gnome's Amulet can find it. Shay finds herself in the middle of their town, dressed in Gnome attire: a blue overcoat and a pointy hat. The gnomes are all staring at her. One comes up to her face. "...What ...What are you?"'''

"What do you think I am?" Shay questions.

Isn't this a dungeon?! Jopie thinks to herself. She bows to the civilian and walks away as he keeps on talking. She walks into the Geishageisha Bathhouse, and raises her hand. Can I work here?? She hollers.

'''Inside the Geishageisha Bathouse, she was greeted by several beautiful women. A short, hairy man with thick eyebrows walked up to her, smoking a novelty cigar. "You wanna work here? Well I'm the manager. We've got three openings. You can be a geisha and entertain our guests. It requires the most training, but earns the most money. Or you can work the baths, keep 'em clean. Real easy, decent pay. Or maybe you want to be my assistant. You won't earn much, but you'll get a lot more job experience. Likely to earn you a quick promotion up the corporate ladder. Whatya say?"'''

'''Calu had gone backwards through the forest and had reached the fourway sign by the time nightfall shed. Shay was having a difficult time with the Gnomes. "Perhaps you are a reanimated corpse?" one suggest. "No, it's a witch!" shouted another.'''

"Nope." Shay answers. "I'm just what you guys are. I had a little bit of an incident that caused me to loose my arms and legs. By the way, you guys don't happen to have any type of arm and leg potion that can help me get my arms and legs back do you? Or can you build me a pair or something? Please?"

'''"What?! You're a gnome!? But you're so tall!" "Then we have found her. The new Gnome Queen." "That's ridiculous! The Gnome Queen shan't show herself for another twenty years!" "...Are... Are you our queen, Miss?"'''

"Wait, that's not a gnome!" Gnome 1 takes off Shay's mask. "Mr. Carswell?!"

Shay being confused on how to answer the question, she asks "Do you want me to be your queen?"

'''"What?" The gnomes were confused. "A queen would know she's a queen. Anyone who is unsure is clearly not." "Every hundred years, a new queen is born. She is the only female gnome, and she is taller than any of us." "You must have been rather tall before you lost your limbs." "But she is not our queen. Let's dispose of her!" The littlest gnome stood up against the crowd. "I want it as a pet!" The gnomes thought for a moment, and decided that she could be held in captivity. They happily put Shay in a cage in the center of town. The littlest gnome would feed her seeds every day.'''

'Meanwhile, Calu began walking into the icelands to the west'' to reach Crumblebutt City. However, she was still naked from before when she had shrunk. Without a jacket, she collapsed from the cold. An unknown figure dragged her to safety. Calu's eyes were too blurry to see. She was placed back at the fourway sign before she could move again. As usual, the forest was to her north, the lake was to her east, the dungeon was to her south, and Crumblebutt was to the west.'''

'''Human still rests by the river. JOP still talks to the manager at the Geishageisha Bathhouse. Nada still rolls around on the floor in the dungeon. What do you do?'''

Shay lays down in the cage and takes a nap.

Hmm. Jopie thinks. I could be a geisha, since I'm beautiful and busty and all... *looks down at pineapple breasts* but... an assistant doesn't sound that bad either. Promotion... experience... hmm. But then again, bath cleaning also sounds spirited-away-ish, so maybe I would be released from this crazy place if I keep it up... AURG! Jopie crouches down and thinks. She looks up and asks, "could you get promotions in bath cleaning too??"

The manager explained the system of the Bathhouse employment and told her that every branch has promotions, but some are easier to get than others.

Shay, bored, gets up to the cage and asks the little boy if he could at least find me legs and arms.

"For a pet? Ha!"

Shay grows angry. "That isn't fair!"

...I suppose I could try out for the assistant. says Jopie

Calu finally woke up, she wondered what was that unknown figure. But she didn't think about it that much since it saved her life. She had to think of something to keep her body warm. So she went back to dungeon, which was south of her. She hoped that she could steal another burlap sack from someone else.

'''The littlest gnome continued to laugh at Shay, teasing her with a cracker. The manager sent Jopie out on her first mission to bring him a cup of black dragon coffee. Calu went to the dungeon to discover Nada in a burlap sack, lying lifelessly on the floor.'''

Calu notices Nada on the floor. She first checks if he is breathing, and he is. So she strips him naked, and just leaves him there. She puts on the burlap sack on and heads back to the sign. She goes back into the west.

'''She makes it significantly farther than before, but passes out at a large rock. She wakes up to see the blurry figure again. "Calu. You need a jacket. Take mine." She is handed a warm jacket.'''

"Who are you?" asked Calu to the blurry figure. "Also, thank you for the jacket, it will help a lot."

'''"I'm your guardian angel." Calu's vision was cleared and she clearly saw the old man she had stabbed before. "My name is Peapod Pocket. And I've been watching you."'''

"My guardian angel, whoa, my mind is blown. I apologize for stabbing you. Also, that does not sound creepy at all." said Calu. 04:13, July 10, 2013 (UTC)

'''He fades away into the snow. The last thing Calu hears him mutter is "nice ass". She continues walking to Crumblebutt. She at last arrives at the gates and is met by the caterpillar man. "State your name and business", he calls down from the top of the gate. Calu can hear a crying Mormon in the bushes near the gate.'''

Black dragon coffee? What the fuck even is that?? Jopie thinks. She walks around the city, and lists down the shops. They are: Elmrik's Spellbooks, Brew-a-Brew Witches' Workshop, The Enchanted Armory, The Unenchanted Armory, Dragon Design Fashion Parlor, Walmart, Ace Weapon Cranny, The Drunken Duchess Pub, Duke Silver Incorporated, Berry Inn, The First Church of Grape, Geishageisha Bathhouse, Rent-a-Mule, A Gentleman's Fisticuffs Corner, Kim Chi Dojo, and Launchpad McQuack Science Facility. What the fuck. She thinks. She stops a passerby again, and asks "where can I get black dragon coffee?

"Brew-a-Brew Witches' Workshop sells the best."

Obviously. Ok, thanks! says Jopie, and she runs off into Brew-a-Brew Witches' Workshop

'''Brew-a-Brew was a dark place, with a glowing caldron in the middle. "Hello, deary" said the witch inside. "Welcome to Brew-a-Brews. I'm your town witch, Glinder. How may I service you?" There were an assortment of potions on the wall. Flying Potions, Falling Potions, Growing Potions, Shrinking Potions, Speed Potions, Limb-Growing Potions, Fire Potions, and several more. "Just ask for whatever you need. I can make it. For a price." '''

"My name is Calu, and I'm here to shop, but can you wait a minute?" replied Calu. She goes to the mormon, and asks what's wrong.

'''"I... I can't go in, and all my friends abandon me..." said the Mormon. The Caterpillar opened the gates for Calu. "Just the girl, please." He said.'''

"A FLYING POTION?!" Jopie exclaimed. "Oh, heh, sorry, stuff..." "ahem" "um" "Do you have Black Dragon Coffee?"

"Right here, deary. Now how will you be paying for this?"

"Er... just a second." "O, mysterious voice of the heavens, do I have any money?!"

'''No, Jopie. You do not have any money. Talk to the manager. I'll warp you there. Dungeon Master Ryu teleported Jopie to the manager.'''

Manager, I'm broke!! I can't buy the coffee D: said Jopie

'''"Eh? Of course not. Why didn't you ask for my card?" The Manager handed Jopie a card. "There's a balance of 7000 gold on there. Make sure to only use it for official business!"'''

Oh :/ ok. Thanks manager. Jopie runs back to the shop to buy the coffee. Lady, I'm back! How much is the coffee?

"3 gold, please."

Jopie gave the witch 3 gold, bowed, (her pineapple boobies jiggled as she bowed) and ran back to the manager with the coffee.

'''"Excellent." said the manager. "Here's your 10 gold." Midnight fell over the region. "It's getting late. Go home. Get some rest. We're closing for the night."'''

"But manager... I'm homeless D:" said Jopie. "And thank you for the gold..."

Shay, still trapped in a cage, is sadden. Tears form in her eyes. She misses her arms and legs. She wishes she didn't act stupid with the crocodiles. But knows she can't change the past.

'''"You can sleep here in the bathhouse, I guess. Just don't mess with anything." Jopie took in the moment to notice the bathhouse in detail. There were three rooms in total. Jopie was standing in the bathing room. She could see a small light glowing from one room as the manager left.'''

"Manager, is that glowing room like the west wing from the beauty and the beast? Does it have an enchanted rose or something that I can't touch?"

The Manager was gone.

"Dafuq?" Jopie said. She shrugged her shoulders and lay down, falling asleep until morning on the very spot she was standing.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, but you could go around and explore. I have to go now, I have to help my friend get her limbs back and in order to do so, I have to enter the gate. I'm so sorry, but I should return here sooner or later, hopefully I'll see you again. I apologize, but I have to go now." Calu tells the mormon, and then she enter the gate. 03:28, July 23, 2013 (UTC)

'''"Took you long enough", said the Caterpillar Man as he closed the gate. "It's the middle of the night now. Get some sleep."'''

"Rocks.... Jopie mumbles in her sleep."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Do you know where I could possibly get some sleep? If you did, that would be greatly appreciated." said Calu to the Caterpillar Man.

'''He hands her a blanket and a pillow. "Sweet dreams" he says as he slinks away.'''

Calu goes somewhere close and safe. She knew that there wasn't a possibility that she could find a better place to go since she was broke. She sets the pillow on the floor and wraps herself in the blanket. So she just drifts away and sleeps well. 07:10, August 1, 2013 (UTC)

'''In her sleep, Calu's jacket is stolen. After the long cold night, the sun rises and Calu and Jopie are woken up. The Manager returns to the Geishageisha Bathhouse. What do you do?'''

"Who the hell would steal my jacket?!" said Calu just as she awoke. She gets up, and saves the pillow and blanket. She walks to the nearest store, without looking at the sign, and opens the front door. 06:20, August 5, 2013 (UTC)

"Good morning, manager." Says Jopie. "Any work for today??"

'Calu walked directly into The Unnchanted Armory.'' "Can I help you?" Said a blacksmith with thick brown eyebrows. He was muscular and young. His armory was plain and brown. There was a large selection of unmagical armor pieces. Meanwhile, Jopie was assigned by the Manager of Geishageisha to order a few official T-Shirts from Dragon Design Fashion Parlor. What do you do?'''

"Hi, I'm Calu. Do you have any job position open? I need to work so I can get money, because I currently have none." told Calu to the blacksmith.

|"Yes."

"So... could I be an assistant? Or do I have to begin from the very bottom, assisting the assistant?" asked Calu.

'''"Yes." Said the blacksmith. The assistant blacksmith came through a door. "Do you want to be my assistant or what?"'''

"Aww, at least I get work." said Calu, and she starts working.

'''"What are you doing?" asked the blacksmith's assistant. Meanwhile, Fin woke up in the stanky dungeon. He was wearing a burlap sack. He could see sunlight shine in from the north. Obvious exits are north, south, east, west, and southeast. What do you do?'''

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ Trying to be helpful. I don't know." and Calu starts to cry.

'''"Wh-What the hell are you doing!?" The assistant blacksmith stood in awe as the girl wearing a burlap sack who had barged in and asked for work suddenly began crying. "I don't know what to do with you!" Very uncomfortable, the assistant left the room. The blacksmith continued to work, not noticing what had just happened.'''

Nada lifts himself off the dungeon floor and walks away.

Calu stops crying, and asks the blacksmith for help, since the assistant just walked out...

* Raven who has been sleeping in the dungeon the whole time wakes up*-- 00:00, August 16, 2013 (UTC)

'''The blacksmith turned and looked at Calu. "Can I help you?" he repeated. Little did Calu realize that he was only capable of saying that phrase and "yes".'''

'''Meanwhile, Nada, Fin, MJ, and Raven all stood there in the stanky dungeon, each in a burlap sack. Nada paced around, but without a destination, he went absolutely no where. They could see an exit to the outside of the dungeon to the north. There were four other rooms to the south, east, southeast, and west of the central dungeon.'''

"Yawn!" Marcus yawned as he stood up with his face and body dirtied with dust and dirt. "I had the weirdest dream I was talking to rocks..." Marcus looks around and hears a lot of voices, he covers his ears in panic. "Stop talking you rocks!" Marcus quickly tried to make his escape through the northwestern direction, despite not being any path that way it was the only path where the rocks somehow did not speak.

"Is it possible to tell your assistant to return? I messed up and I need to apologize." said Calu to the blacksmith.

'''"Yes." The blacksmith went into the backroom. His assistant came out, not making eye contact. "What do you want?"'''

'''Marcus ended up slamming directly into the dungeon's wall. There was nothing noticeable about this location.'''

Fin woke up, not knowing he was in a stanky dungeon. He immediately fell unconscious again from the fumes. --

"Shay still sits there." said Shay. ShayshayRip

'''Shay sat there, alone, imagining what life would be like if she hadn't started a fire, angered a cow, and jumped in an alligator-infested river twice. If only. The Blacksmith's assistant was getting impatient with Calu. "Say something, dammit!" THT, who had lying by the river, was confronted by gnomes. "Halt! Who be ye?" one said. Fin, Marcus, Nada, and Raven were still just walking around the stanky dungeon. Maybe one of them should go north or something.'''

Nada goes South.

'Much like the bird from which he took his brain, Nada heads directly South'' into a big, steaming pile of nothing. The only thing in the room was an old note from Jopie's leprechaun. The note, of course, said "better find a jacket". The only exit was to the North, where Nada came from.'''

Nada looks at the North exit and thinks to himself, "I hated this direction. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this direction. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant traveler-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the travelers by its belief that anyone would be detoured by it." 00:05, August 28, 2013 (UTC)

Shay was patient with the natural consequences of her foolish actions. She remained limbless in the cage. ShayshayRip

"Hi again, I'm sorry about before, and can you tell me how I can help?" said Calu.

'''"Fine." Said the assistant. "Here is an envelope containing $8000 gold. Use it to purchase some raw metal from the Enchanted Armory down the street." He handed her the envelope.'''

Fin wakes up and stumbles North, not knowing where he's going.

'''Fin ends up at the four-way sign. To the North is the Jones Forest, to the East is Lake Peruvia, to the West is the long, snowy path to Crumblebutt City, and to the South is the stanky dungeon from which he came.'''

Jade suddenly wakes up in an unknown place, sees Fin, and decides that she want to bang Fin.

Still The Game
Jopie runs to the Dragon Design Fashion Parlor and walks in.

'''The Dragon Design Fashion Parlor looked like a take-out menu puked on an umbrella, and that umbrella designed a fashion parlor. A small Asian lady, approximately 30 years old (although it's hard to tell) came out and inspected Jopie. After a moment, she concluded that she liked her. "What you want?"'''

'''Back in the stanky dungeon, Jade attempted to contain her raw sexual attraction for long enough to look around. The only logical exit was North.'''

"FINE! I'll go North!" Nada yelled into the dungeon-sky. He goes North. There has yet to be any explanation why he has to walk all that way, when the narrator can just put him where he needs to be.

'''However, a thought occurs deep in Nada's subconscious. He realizes that Dungeon Master Ryu is creating a game. A game requires interactivity and the option of choice with consequence. Had Dungeon Master Ryu simply controlled the players at every encounter, there would be no need for players at all. It wouldn't be a game, it would be a story. Thus, Nada must willingly decide to exit the dungeon. Alternatively, any player could chose to do things such as mugging fellow players, or claiming the dungeon as a home and attempt to live there. Or if the player's goal is to make it to another destination for more interactivity, they must leave the dungeon and explore. This creates an entirely different world with nearly limitless options and imaginative standards of reality. It could be thought of as a second life, with consequences of success and failure. Anyone could be anything if they simply put in the effort to become. Then Nada farted. It was a wet one.'''

Nada is happy to finally get that out. Now he takes a nap.

Shay realizes that it has been 2 months and 10-ish days since she's been stuck in this cage. "CAN I BE FREE YET?!" She yells.

"Shut your mouth."

Jade sees Shay from a distance and decides to dash to her rescue, but first she wants shining armor and a white horse and a sword so she could be Shay's princess. 00:51, September 19, 2013 (UTC)

'''Jade has displayed remarkable eye sight, because she's at least 5 miles away from Shay. If she wants armor or a horse, she'll have to find them somewhere else. As for now, she's "dashing to Shay's rescue" in the middle of a far-off stanky dungeon.'''

"How about a horse that's called Shining Armor?" Nada says in tongues as he bashes his skull against the wall.

Jade sighs and walk to the north. 01:44, September 20, 2013 (UTC)

Shay still waits.

"What an exciting adventure." Bellows Nada as he plays Othello with whoever else is waiting/walking.

'''Slinking outside the dungeon, Nada and Jade discovered a four-way street. To the south is the dungeon she had just come from. To the north was a forest. The east was a large lake of water. To the west was a sign reading "Crumblebutt City, 1 mile this way" and a long dirt road. What do you do?'''

Calu goes out the front door and walks down the street to the Enchanted Armory. There she uses the $8000 gold that the assistant gave her to purchase some raw metal. She then returns the shop, and gives the assistant what he requested. 23:15, September 28, 2013 (UTC)

Nada looks at the sign and starts heading west. "I'm heading to Crumblebutt City. It sounds like it has some high buildings to jump off of."

'''Lacking a coat, Nada froze in the cold on the way to Crumblebutt City. He awoke upside-down, dangling in an icy cliff somewhere. He could see a glowing green pole of some kind beneath him. Meanwhile, Calu returns to the Unenchanted Armoury. "YOU SPENT THE ENTIRE ENVELOPE'S WORTH OF MONEY IN ONE TRIP!? WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSE TO DO WITH ALL THIS ENCHANTED ARMOUR!? WE'RE COMPLETELY BROKE! THE BUSINESS IS RUINED! YOU'RE... YOU'RE FIRED! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!" The assistant passed out from stress.'''

Shay still waits.... -_-

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I didn't know, you were specific. I'll sell it back if I have to! Don't fire me, pplllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeee" respond Calu.

'''Twas no use. The assistant was unconscious in a pile of enchanted armour. The blacksmith was too busy listening to iTunes that he never noticed anything had happened. What do you do?'''

'''Nova started playing maybe. He began in the stanky dungeon. The exit was north.'''

Fin arrives in the Winterzone, unaware of his surroundings, freezing his buns off, completely lost, and strangely aroused.

'''"That's hot" said an elderly voice. Fin looked downward to discover a little old lady turtle, complete with lipstick, glasses, and a hand-knit jacket.'''

Shivering and confused, Fin asked, "Excuse me, could you please give me some directions?"

'''Slowly giving Fin a smack on the toches, the little old lady turtle pointed the direction of Crumblebutt City. "But you'll never make it without a jacket. Let me take you to my house and I'll knit you one, Hot Cakes."'''

Nova wondered why he needed to leave the dungeon at all. It seemed peaceful enough, and none of the monsters he'd talked to had attacked him. 11:29, November 25, 2013 (UTC)

Too tired and cold to feel uncomfortable, Fin follows the turtle to her home.

'''There was no impending need for Nova to leave the stanky dungeon. However, he had no source of food, water, or warmth. And it smelled like ye olde ass.'''

'''Fin found himself in a neck-high house built for an elderly turtle. It was cozy enough. He sat down in a big chair and ate hard candies. There were pictures of many men on the wall. The little old lady turtle sat across from him and knitted him a sweater. Hours passed.'''

Cozy and warm, Fin sat there patiently waiting for the sweater to be finished. Exhausted, he succumbed to the comfortable warmth and dozed off.

'''"Excellent." said the little old lady turtle. She removed her own sweater so that all she wore was an empty bra. She lifted Fin's hand and placed it on the left cup. Fin woke up for a moment to see this, but decided it was probably a dream and went back to sleep. He woke up tucked into a bed with a warm sweater on. There was a wet spot on his neck with a single tooth mark. There was hot cocoa on the bed beside him. The little old lady turtle was no where to be seen. It was about 8:00 am. What do you do?'''

Fin wakes up (fully knowing that he's been violated), drinks the cocoa and heads off to Crumblebutt City.

'''"Not so fast" the little old lady turtle whispered. "nobody leaves me." Suddenly, something in Fin's system feels disturbed. It must have been the hot cocoa. His stomach felt like it was about to burst, but he saw the gates of Crumblebutt City in the distance. He has about five turns before something awful happens, provided he can't seek medical attention in that time. At the gates of Crumblebutt City, the caterpillar guardian looked down from the walls. "State your name and business" he barked.'''

Fin shouts desperately, "I will do literally WHATEVER you want as long as I get medical attention immediately!" 03:03, December 3, 2013 (UTC)

'''The caterpillar man scanned him with his eyes. "State your name and business, sir."'''

Shay STILL waits.

Nada flails around. "I can't see anything!"

"I'm just here to get medical attention...I'm Fintin, that one guy." 01:19, December 13, 2013 (UTC)

'''Once again, Nada looks around to discover that nothing has changed and he is still upside-down, dangling in an icy cliff somewhere. He could see a glowing green pole of some kind beneath him.'''

'''The Caterpillar man decided to allow Fin to proceed. The gates open and a sexy nurse comes to greet him. She spoke in a Southern drawl and said "we can fix you right up, Doll." She injected him with something. "Stay away from little old lady turtles in the winterzone, ya hear? It's dangerous."'''

Nova left the dungeon in search of a new hope, a chance to join the rebellion, a chance to bring down the empire. But first he needed to do the most important thing a man can do - get drunk and procreate. 21:51, December 17, 2013 (UTC)

Nada bumps into a wall. "I still can't see anything!"