Blue Shoes. White Bunny. Checkered Lion.

Prologue
When the earth was new, there were three gods of power. The garment of honesty, the life of simplicity, and the beast of the unexplained. Those three powers drove the universe. All things were created from them. By the year 2013, the gods were long since forgotten, but their virtues remained. Honesty had taken the color blue, simplicity had taken the color white, and the form of the unexplained was checkered. At the coming of the apocalypse, it was time for reincarnation to show itself.

Chapter 1
In the year 2013, there was a suburban town as small as Michelangelo's David's love parts. It was called Morton, Illinois, and the most exciting thing that happened there was the pumpkin harvest. The people were boring, unimportant, and full of themselves. Across Nebraska Ave, Morton's most wanted criminal was running for his life. He was wanted for saying "poopie" in public and disturbing the peace. As the cops chased him down, he turned the corner to find a pair of shoes, blue as Hitler's pure eyes. He put them on in an attempt to run faster than he previously could in flip flops. It was successful because all the cops were wearing flip flops as well. "Why are you so mean?" whined the cops. "Because my parents did a shit job raising me." He answered uncontrollably. It was strange for a Mortonite to admit to having a non-perfect life. "Hey, get your damn feet out of me!" yelled the blue shoes. The shock of a talking pair of shoes caused the outlaw to trip and fall. He was promptly beaten to death by the police. "Thanks, pair of talking shoes! You're a hero!" they said as they started beating the blue shoes to death for aiding a criminal. The shoes slipped onto one of the cops, who started uncontrollably telling the truth. "I'm a closet gay!" the cop shouted. The cops began to beat him to death, which allowed the blue shoes to escape. Life's hard for a pair of shoes.